By now we've all heard about the salacious allegations against Bishop Eddie Long. He is still innocent until proven guilty I'd like to first state. However, he's not presenting a strong case for his own credibility. The victims allege sexual coercion, gifts and trips by the leader of a 25,000 member church that's worth $50 million. He should have strongly, quickly and on camera made his innocence known. And his statement before his church family on Sunday wasn't too compelling and was very carefully crafted. He seems to see himself as a media victim and the target of a witch hunt.
Now here's why I wasn't too shocked and why the bishop will not be stepping down now or any time soon. He is a black Baptist preacher and the leader of a 25,000 member mega church. He's a millionaire and enjoys the adulation and damn near worship of thousands of people. In our community, he's what many would describe as a rock star. The black community has a long church tradition and it's still a revered institution politically, economically and morally. But black preachers enjoy a great deal of power and prestige from one of the few free black institutions in this country. We see people all the time fall into pastor worship instead of God worship. I've often wondered if it's because he may be one of the few sober-minded men that people (mostly women) see on a regular basis in a position of leadership. They forget that he's flesh too. We all need to remember this before we put our pastors and spiritual leaders on a pedestal.
Let me expound a little further on how I feel many of our pastors are treated like rock stars. Rock stars have groupies. We've all seen them in church on Sundays. The women (and men) who dress a little too provocative and smile and just have to shake pastor's hand at the end of service. They're there on the spot to fill his water glass, take care of his mail, move his car, whatever. They seem to feed off of his every gesture and want nothing more than to catch some of his glow. Then there's the accountability issue. Rock stars are only really accountable to their fans. In this case the fans are the church members, and Bishop Eddie Long will only have to appease them and he'll probably still preach from the pulpit on Sunday mornings. Then there's the money. He lives a very comfortable, one could even say a plush life (i.e. The Bentley) that he openly flaunts. How would a man leave all that behind easily? And of course there's the position he holds in the community. He is respected and not just tolerated like most black men in America are. He had former US presidents attend his church as he funeralized our beloved, Coretta Scott King. That's no small thing. How does a black man leave all that prestige, respect, independence and money behind? He doesn't. At least not easily or without a serious fight. The white minister, Tim Haggard, who was outted last year amid his scandal eventually stepped down not long after it hit the news. I don't think we'll see this happen with Bishop Long because as a black man with that kind of power he won't walk away that easily. Only time will tell how this all plays out legally and with his flock, but I'm betting he ain't going no where anytime soon.
No matter your religious affiliation lets pray for healing and real talk on the issues surrounding this sad mess and how we can move forward as a community. The bible, the church, homosexuality, redemption, political correctness, young men without fathers in their lives, are all topics that need to be explored around this scandal. What kinds of checks and balances should be in place for pastors who abuse their power and how to get them the help they need. Many pastors listen to and counsel church members all the time and may not have the requisite training to do this heavy psychological work. And who do they talk to when they're burdens are too heavy and they need to process all that stuff? One of the saddest things in all of this is how so many people will criticize the church and discount all the good it does. There are a lot of people who see the church as a refuge, a place to share and fellowship and source of strength. I pray that faith isn't lost in some of the flaws, the charismatic personalities and the work yet to be done.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Black Films We're Not Going To See
I watched a sweet, mature, romantic film about a 30-something, professional black couple last night. "Not Easily Broken" was directed by the industry veteran, Bill Duke, and produced by the powerful preacher Bishop TD Jakes. It dealt with a young couple that loses its way in careers, money, negative influences, changing gender roles and just everyday life. They faced each other and themselves, and then got to working on their marriage. Now this wasn't a perfect movie, but it was a grown-up movie about a successful, normal, married black couple. Something we don't see everyday, on the small screen or on the big screen. No gimmicks and silliness. No men in drag. Just relatable people trying to pick up the pieces of a failing marriage and turn the relationship around. I thought it was topical and honest. The characters had interracial friendships and attractions. Let's face it, America has changed and is changing and this needs to be reflected in our cinema. You saw middle class blacks wanting to leave behind their brothers and sisters in the hood so they could buy into the American dream. We know them too. We saw black on black violence between black men, the cycle of fatherless homes, and generaltional hurt get broken with honest discussion and self-relection. That was plain beautiful to see. I regret that I didn't make it to the theatre to see it when it was in theatres but greateful that I picked it up on the video rack at Duane Reade. Now my question is, why didn't more of us go see this when it was in the movies? My only hope now is that we'll have viewing parties with friends and discuss the issues presented in the film.
Another great, but small recent film was "Akeelah And The Bee". I was happy and elated in the theatre when the credits rolled at the end of this sweet movie. A young black girl dealing with the death of her dad and an overworked and frustrated mother lets her bright light shine for the first time, and goes all the way to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I loved that movie and was happy to pay the $11 to see it and felt strongly that every black parent should take their child to see it.
And I would be remiss if I failed to list Spike Lee's, "The Miracle At St. Anna". Not only one of the best films of 2008, and sorely overlooked for any Oscar nods, but most importantly we didn't go see it when it was released. I personally had to see it because the trailers had me open and my father actually served in WWII. But I remember not feeling good about how so few people were in the theatre with me on that Saturday about 2 years ago. The emotionally powerful and historically significant story about black men fighting in Europe when they couldn't vote in the US, led me to research and ask more questions about the stories of black servicemen during WWII. ( My dad passed in 1980) I'd read about Spike's struggle for financing and how Italian businessmen came to support the creation of this story that needed to be told. And my question again, why didn't we feel the need to support and see a powerful story about strong black men?
We can't complain and kick our feet when we see all this crap and lies about who we are on the screen when we don't take our children to see valuable, uplifting stories that make us think. I've often thought about how the movies and shows we overwhelmingly support tend to be comedies. Always gotta laugh, but can we handle anything serious sometimes if its not wrapped in old stereotypes and buffoonery. The imagery matters. I can't always make it to see every movie, good or otherwise, about black people. But I value my mind not to see something that tears down the mental strength and valiant work of black people, and to support movies and artists that offer complexity, honesty and cultural pride.
Another great, but small recent film was "Akeelah And The Bee". I was happy and elated in the theatre when the credits rolled at the end of this sweet movie. A young black girl dealing with the death of her dad and an overworked and frustrated mother lets her bright light shine for the first time, and goes all the way to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I loved that movie and was happy to pay the $11 to see it and felt strongly that every black parent should take their child to see it.
And I would be remiss if I failed to list Spike Lee's, "The Miracle At St. Anna". Not only one of the best films of 2008, and sorely overlooked for any Oscar nods, but most importantly we didn't go see it when it was released. I personally had to see it because the trailers had me open and my father actually served in WWII. But I remember not feeling good about how so few people were in the theatre with me on that Saturday about 2 years ago. The emotionally powerful and historically significant story about black men fighting in Europe when they couldn't vote in the US, led me to research and ask more questions about the stories of black servicemen during WWII. ( My dad passed in 1980) I'd read about Spike's struggle for financing and how Italian businessmen came to support the creation of this story that needed to be told. And my question again, why didn't we feel the need to support and see a powerful story about strong black men?
We can't complain and kick our feet when we see all this crap and lies about who we are on the screen when we don't take our children to see valuable, uplifting stories that make us think. I've often thought about how the movies and shows we overwhelmingly support tend to be comedies. Always gotta laugh, but can we handle anything serious sometimes if its not wrapped in old stereotypes and buffoonery. The imagery matters. I can't always make it to see every movie, good or otherwise, about black people. But I value my mind not to see something that tears down the mental strength and valiant work of black people, and to support movies and artists that offer complexity, honesty and cultural pride.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Black Men: Putting Their Lives On The Line For Their Women and Families
I remember I went to a book signing for Sister Souljah's last book, "Midnight, A Love Story" and she talked about addressing the topic of black men protecting their families in her book. I remember wondering about that particular issue for the first time in a real way. It made me consider some of the recent news stories in the NY metro area that dealt with this issue. There was a couple of Christmases ago when a black father on Long Island shot and killed a young Italian-American male after his son went to a party and got into it with the young man over a young white woman. It ended with the white youth coming to the African American youth's home and being warned to leave by his armed father. A scuffle ensued and ended with a bullet to the head of the white youth. The African-American father was sentenced to10 years in jail for the crime, sadly leaving his family broken and a young man dead. But I recalled that story and why the father was sentenced to such time when drunk drivers get less time for senseless vehicular manslaughter. He wasn't doing anything more than protecting his family and the life of his son. The young white male's acting out of his youthful ignorance and false sense of bravado probably didn't know what he was walking into but when a father demands you to "leave my property" while holding a loaded gun, he should've realized that a real man will do whatever it takes to protect his family. I felt that the justice system could've punished him with a more realistic (lenient) sentence considering the situation he was put in as a father.
Then there was the case of the young Jamaican brother, Yoseph Robinson, who converted to Orthodox Judaism in Brooklyn and died defending his girlfriend in a robbery at MB Vineyards in the Flatbush section. I felt so sad when I read about that story. No one ever tells the story of the brothers who are in prisons for protecting their loved ones or meet an early grave dying for their families honor.
I remember the story I know of from years ago about a teenage couple in Brooklyn. They were young, 17 and 18 years old and new to love. He walked her half-way home after a date because he had to make a run and was late. When she got to her block, a low-life from around the way grabbed her into some bushes and violated her. She got away and ran crying to herboyfriend, she told him what had just happened. In a rage, he got his gun found the man and shot and killed him. This sounds like simple justice to me. But he, at 19 years old, was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Seems like his sense of duty and honor at protecting the safety and well being of his young girlfriend was not even a thought for the sentencing judge who took the best years of a young man's life and gave it to the State of New York. The story goes that she married him in jail and when he got out in his early thirties they married with a beautifully decorated courtyard in the projects where they were from. I heard that neighbors and many residents from around the way who knew their story came out to see the couple finally celebrate their love. That story always leaves a little tear in my eye. Yes, I'm a romantic but these stories are rarely ever told or considered when we talk about our men. To begin with, we rarely discuss, in a sustantial way, what it is to be a man. Not a male, not being masculine, but what it means to be a real man. Manhood is something that gets charicatured by many women in pop culture discussions about men today. A world without men isn't a world I want to live in, no matter how much crap I go through with them. We need each other if we're going to live in a balanced world. I heard a man on a radio show say that he doesn't feel that modern women really respect his role as a man/husband today. He said that if a burglar broke into his home, his only mission would be to get his wife and kids out safely. He said that that alone should make his wife recognize his stature in the home. Now he, by all accounts, knows what it means to be a man so he should get his due respect, honor and recognition.
But I wanna tease out that discussion more fully so that we can understand what in fact is a man as much much for my own edification as for the many young brothers transitioning into adulthood not having a clue what a man is and what a man is not. Many sisters say they want a man but don't really know what one is. Many young men really do want to develop into men, but how, and who will teach them, and what will they teach them. I remember listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show after his teenage-male mentoring weekend he does in Texas. (Big Ups!!!) It was the Monday morning after the event and a brother about 30 years old called in asked him if he can help him too because he wants to be a man but doesn't know how. I was moved by his candor and desire to get it and grow up. Not just get a job, make money, have women and father some babies. He knew he didn't know and reached out for help.
I think the feminist movement allowed women, and the society as a whole, to examine femininity, women's role and female identity, and just simply what it means to be a woman in all its contexts. There hasn't really been a comprehensive movement for men to do the same. But how do we generate and sustain the conversation on manhood. Not in the context of the dating/relationship frenzy in the black community, but honest old conversation and real talk about one of the toughest, often volatile and misunderstood roles in society - that of being a Black Man.
Much love to all the brothers who get up everyday and try to be better men and find a way to love and protect their families in the midst of chaos, a self-glorifying society and loss of values. I encourage anyone who reads this blog post to offer any thoughts or comments to this discussion.
Be blessed.
Then there was the case of the young Jamaican brother, Yoseph Robinson, who converted to Orthodox Judaism in Brooklyn and died defending his girlfriend in a robbery at MB Vineyards in the Flatbush section. I felt so sad when I read about that story. No one ever tells the story of the brothers who are in prisons for protecting their loved ones or meet an early grave dying for their families honor.
I remember the story I know of from years ago about a teenage couple in Brooklyn. They were young, 17 and 18 years old and new to love. He walked her half-way home after a date because he had to make a run and was late. When she got to her block, a low-life from around the way grabbed her into some bushes and violated her. She got away and ran crying to herboyfriend, she told him what had just happened. In a rage, he got his gun found the man and shot and killed him. This sounds like simple justice to me. But he, at 19 years old, was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Seems like his sense of duty and honor at protecting the safety and well being of his young girlfriend was not even a thought for the sentencing judge who took the best years of a young man's life and gave it to the State of New York. The story goes that she married him in jail and when he got out in his early thirties they married with a beautifully decorated courtyard in the projects where they were from. I heard that neighbors and many residents from around the way who knew their story came out to see the couple finally celebrate their love. That story always leaves a little tear in my eye. Yes, I'm a romantic but these stories are rarely ever told or considered when we talk about our men. To begin with, we rarely discuss, in a sustantial way, what it is to be a man. Not a male, not being masculine, but what it means to be a real man. Manhood is something that gets charicatured by many women in pop culture discussions about men today. A world without men isn't a world I want to live in, no matter how much crap I go through with them. We need each other if we're going to live in a balanced world. I heard a man on a radio show say that he doesn't feel that modern women really respect his role as a man/husband today. He said that if a burglar broke into his home, his only mission would be to get his wife and kids out safely. He said that that alone should make his wife recognize his stature in the home. Now he, by all accounts, knows what it means to be a man so he should get his due respect, honor and recognition.
But I wanna tease out that discussion more fully so that we can understand what in fact is a man as much much for my own edification as for the many young brothers transitioning into adulthood not having a clue what a man is and what a man is not. Many sisters say they want a man but don't really know what one is. Many young men really do want to develop into men, but how, and who will teach them, and what will they teach them. I remember listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show after his teenage-male mentoring weekend he does in Texas. (Big Ups!!!) It was the Monday morning after the event and a brother about 30 years old called in asked him if he can help him too because he wants to be a man but doesn't know how. I was moved by his candor and desire to get it and grow up. Not just get a job, make money, have women and father some babies. He knew he didn't know and reached out for help.
I think the feminist movement allowed women, and the society as a whole, to examine femininity, women's role and female identity, and just simply what it means to be a woman in all its contexts. There hasn't really been a comprehensive movement for men to do the same. But how do we generate and sustain the conversation on manhood. Not in the context of the dating/relationship frenzy in the black community, but honest old conversation and real talk about one of the toughest, often volatile and misunderstood roles in society - that of being a Black Man.
Much love to all the brothers who get up everyday and try to be better men and find a way to love and protect their families in the midst of chaos, a self-glorifying society and loss of values. I encourage anyone who reads this blog post to offer any thoughts or comments to this discussion.
Be blessed.
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