I owe Essence Magazine an apology for some of my last post. They actually put out a special Hair Issue and also did the October issue which was heavy on political food for us to eat for the mid-term election cycle. I'm actually glad I was wrong and found good reporting still alive and well in our only high-circulation black women's mag. My sentiments about their website and magazine articles that lately offer celebrity heavy content and too much fluff are still valid criticisms though.
Now on to what's been on my mind lately. Has anyone noticed the rage and venom at black women in the blogosphere? I admit I was shocked and found the comments put forth in cyber-space about sisters from "brothers" to be jarring. I put brothers in quotes because it got me to wondering, if someone says such openly vicious things about you, especially to the world, can you still consider these individuals brothers? I mean family means a lot but I don't think anyone should allow anyone to step on their self-esteem, call them out their name and wish them nothing but hell. And I do mean the attacks are intended to crush the self-esteem of sisters, they're not just venting angrily. Then there's all the blame and responsibility that gets dumped on black women that's unreal. How do we describe these black men today? What kind of language can I use to describe them when many of us want to hold on to the idea that we are all brothers and sisters stuggling together. Is that corny and cliched in our crazy modern world? Or are we all just black people with a common history? I've read some postings where black men actually see black women as their ultimate enemy. And all this is going on in the time that we have a black President sided by his elegant and beautiful black queen. I was just shocked. I want to know more about these men and what their experiences have been.
Their resentment is so palpable. Is it possible that many of them as black men in a society that still degrades and disrepects them (even towards our in-office President) see black women as a threat to some control they did, and still do, exercise. The black woman has been the one person a black man did have some control over in America, but with black women outpacing black men in education and income are they left feeling especially angry? Now to be clear, this question pertains to the black men I've referenced in the blogosphere and the ones who share their rage, not to all black men. Let me state there are great black men that are encouraging and striving to create better opportunities for themselves and aren't sittin in a corner somewhere mad at sisters. But is there such a thing as black male privilege? And are they feeling that they're losing some of it? Just asking.
And yes, I've grown a little tired of the recent spate of black relationship books that only address black women and what they need to know and do to get a black man. (granted most self-help books are geared to the female book buyer) But come on, it's like brothers don't have any inner and outer work to do. We can all roll up our sleeps and start dealing with mountains of stuff but all the books deal with the work women should do rather than on how black men individually and together with women need healing and honest dialogue as a start. (The Conversation by Hill Harper talks to the duo but not to brothers alone) Are brothers being let off the hook from the inner emotional work they badly need to do only so we'll end up with a large pool of black women a little more enlightened and ready for a realtionship than brothers who just sit by waiting to be picked? (Hint, suggestion to Steve Harvey for his next book)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Modern Digital Culture: A Win or a Loss?
Has anyone taken notice of the youth culture today and how it has started to permeate the rest of our world. I got my latest issue of Essence in the mail the other day and couldn't help but be disappointed that the entire issue was dedicated to all things about black hair. Hairstyles, hair maintenance, hair politics. I was too through. The midterm elections are coming up on our asses and the house and senate may easily go Republican and the premiere magazine for black women is talking about hair.
Hey I'm a black woman and I know the hair struggle well. But there's got to be more to talk about right now instead of wasting valuable space talking about wigs and weaves. I made reference to the youth culture earlier because I think this is mostly a by-product of today's image-obsessed youth culture. Everything has to do with fashion and celebrity and what "she's" wearing. Young women focus on this a little too much to me now a day. Not that many young women (18-33) aren't out here doing their thing and making us proud, there's just a hyper-focus on all things external. There's a definite change in the attitudes about status, community, success and responsibility. For one thing, everybody thinks they're a fuckin star. It's like the saying, "when everyone is special, no one is." Most of us need to fix and build our self-esteem on the daily, but it's OK not to be so damned self-obsessed too. And really, to be special you have to do something special. Not just be "fly". There's a balance to all things in life and a time to have fun and indulge in all kinds of things from the silly to the sublime. It should all helps us grow in different ways. But to be over-committed to transient things that don't really improve our condition or contribute to one's inidividual or group development isn't a help overall either.
Also the digital era has made everything so remote, people are encouraged to air every inner thought out on the web. I mean really, go and get yourself somebody to talk to, not text to. Twittering about every stupid detail in your life to the world is some dumb-ass, self-important shit to me. And I'm seeing too many grown-ass people addressing issues on Facebook that need to be done face-to-face. Interpersonal communication has damn sure suffered. I say all this on a blog site that I indeed created, but things that are personal and need to be handled directly aren't for the web and I know and realize this. The web can be a great tool for information and connection, but it's all in how you use it and to what degree. You know the saying about candy being good, but too much will give you a cavity.
It feels like too many of our sisters are being inundated with images of Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga and Rihanna and taking their cues from them on how to walk in this world. It's troubling that Essence has seemed to have fallen off the cliff with the rest of the culture and over-dosed on the celebrity, fashion trend obsessions. Has anyone taken a look at their website lately? Full of fluff and bull sh**. There used to be more substance. I don't know who to be mad at? I mean the news media is less about news and is far more biased and subjective than ever before. Information is now little more than opinion, and bloggers are being considered part of the media. But I always saw Essence magazine as a news source and a refuge from all the crap out there. Now I can't even relate to it anymore. The constant texting, opinion based, gotta reveal every inane detail of my life on twitter or facebook society I'm now trapped in leaves me lost, sad and hungry. Wonder what'll be the antidote to this current state of affairs.
Hey I'm a black woman and I know the hair struggle well. But there's got to be more to talk about right now instead of wasting valuable space talking about wigs and weaves. I made reference to the youth culture earlier because I think this is mostly a by-product of today's image-obsessed youth culture. Everything has to do with fashion and celebrity and what "she's" wearing. Young women focus on this a little too much to me now a day. Not that many young women (18-33) aren't out here doing their thing and making us proud, there's just a hyper-focus on all things external. There's a definite change in the attitudes about status, community, success and responsibility. For one thing, everybody thinks they're a fuckin star. It's like the saying, "when everyone is special, no one is." Most of us need to fix and build our self-esteem on the daily, but it's OK not to be so damned self-obsessed too. And really, to be special you have to do something special. Not just be "fly". There's a balance to all things in life and a time to have fun and indulge in all kinds of things from the silly to the sublime. It should all helps us grow in different ways. But to be over-committed to transient things that don't really improve our condition or contribute to one's inidividual or group development isn't a help overall either.
Also the digital era has made everything so remote, people are encouraged to air every inner thought out on the web. I mean really, go and get yourself somebody to talk to, not text to. Twittering about every stupid detail in your life to the world is some dumb-ass, self-important shit to me. And I'm seeing too many grown-ass people addressing issues on Facebook that need to be done face-to-face. Interpersonal communication has damn sure suffered. I say all this on a blog site that I indeed created, but things that are personal and need to be handled directly aren't for the web and I know and realize this. The web can be a great tool for information and connection, but it's all in how you use it and to what degree. You know the saying about candy being good, but too much will give you a cavity.
It feels like too many of our sisters are being inundated with images of Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga and Rihanna and taking their cues from them on how to walk in this world. It's troubling that Essence has seemed to have fallen off the cliff with the rest of the culture and over-dosed on the celebrity, fashion trend obsessions. Has anyone taken a look at their website lately? Full of fluff and bull sh**. There used to be more substance. I don't know who to be mad at? I mean the news media is less about news and is far more biased and subjective than ever before. Information is now little more than opinion, and bloggers are being considered part of the media. But I always saw Essence magazine as a news source and a refuge from all the crap out there. Now I can't even relate to it anymore. The constant texting, opinion based, gotta reveal every inane detail of my life on twitter or facebook society I'm now trapped in leaves me lost, sad and hungry. Wonder what'll be the antidote to this current state of affairs.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Is America Really Ready For A Black President?
As we're facing the 2-year anniversary of that monumental presidential election, I've been looking back at how we've handled some societal growing pains, or better, how we've avoided them. Has anyone been noticing the casual racist comments and answers to innocuous, harmless questions by white males lately. Veteran Bristish rocker, Robert Plant, referred to R&B music as "spook music" in a routine question on The Today Show when asked about his musical influences back in September. He, who has made a great deal of fortune and fame from African American music, thought nothing of casually throwing around this repugnant term. The interviewer, who didn't even appear shocked and follow up with a question for him to explain what he meant, went on like nothing strange was just said. And of course he made no statement of apology because he was never challenged or questioned about his comment, so he went on with his day. Then recently Mr. Rick Sanchez lost his job with CNN after spewing some venom about about Jon Stewart and Jewish people in the media. But people may forget that he referred to Barack Obama as "the cotton-picking President" not too long ago. He later apologized and went on with his day.
Does anyone remember the comment by CBS news anchor Dan Rather on the The Chris Matthews Show back in the spring. He was discussing Obama's healthcare reform and his ability to get things done when he said "Obama couldn't sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic." He also later apologized and went about his day.
And let's not forget Rock musician, John Mayer, who made a jack-ass of himself in Playboy last spring with his comments about his "nigger pass" rather than it being a "hood pass" and his unattraction to black women. The second part of his offensive remarks were about John Mayer trying to be ironic and witty as he stupidly made reference to his little package as a "David Duke D***". The short of it was-he's not attracted to black women. OK. Like sisters are home heartbroken cause his punk a** ain't checking for them. But I was a little taken aback because he's been the undisputed King of Girlie Rock for the last 8 years or so making very lyrically sensitive, mature music. Yet, he showed us his true feelings with his disrespect for black people. This after the interviewer commented, with some curiousity, about all the love he's gotten from black fans. Hmmm. He took some flack, mostly kept his mouth shut and went on about his day. And now he's doing commercials with Jay-Z selling something, I can't even remember what cause I change the channel whenever its on. Remember the LeBron James media fiasco that truly got on my nerves but clearly made some people more than a little irate. He was in fact treated like a runaway slave by the Cavalier's owner in that ridiculous, bitter letter and to some extent by the sports media that villified a generally classy young man who dared to exercise his power as a brand and product.
And I would be remiss if I failed to mention talk-radio's Dr. Laura Schlessinger and her angry, ignorant ass with her on-air attack of a black woman married to a white man asking for advice on how to handle racism in her own home. Needless to say the caller should know how to handle some bullsh** like that, but okay she called Dr. Laura and wanted to know what to do. Instead of Dr. Laura giving her a calm clinical answer, she goes on a racial rant full of diatribes and insults that were personal and political. She couldn't even handle a question from a black woman dealing with white racism so she starts to attack the NAACP, defiantly repeats the word "nigger" over and over, and cites comics on HBO who use the word "nigger" as if that excused these people in the caller's story who were disrespecting her, and her husband who didn't know how to be a man and speak up for his wife in his own home.
My theory is this: Yes we have the first Black President because of the perfect storm of economic events that made Barack Hussein Obama the only rational choice. And yes, many, many white people voted for him. It was monumental and many of us still have to pinch ourselves. But I think these recent, openly racist casual comments from musicians to journalists leave me feeling that many, many people (mostly white males) are subconsciously, and consciously, showing just how uncomfortable they are with the president of the free world being a black man. I don't think these many statements all within, say 6 months, have ever been so flagrant and constant. The Village Voice's recent cover story entitled "White America Has Lost Its Mind" by Steven Thrasher, was primarily focused on the conservative movement, Fox News, the tea party and the billionaire Koch Brothers. But I'm thinking some of this is more spread out and not just concentrated among the extreme right. There has always been this aversion to discussing race openly and honestly, even as we have a black president in office. It's as if white America feels like we voted for him so let's stop all this talk about racism. It's over, the reparations are paid, now move on. So there's no substantive conversation about race and racism. Nobody I know is buying that post-racial crap, so let's get on with the real dialogue, please. Just as the cavalier, racist, and just plain stupid statements highlighted earlier received a quick tongue lashing or moment of head scratching, or in Robert Plant's case not even a follow-up question, no one wants to use any of this as a jump off for some real conversations about race and racism in a country with a long violent history in its regards to non-white people. Even the tea partiers with their nasty Obama signs, the anti-brown immigration law in Arizona and the raucous protests over the Islamic Cultural Center near ground zero, which many people don't know was once the Muslim center of NYC, all have me very uncomfortable and should indicate to our many media outlets that we could use a nationally-televised conversation about race from many perspectives. If they can interrupt regular tv programming for Tiger Woods to talk about his broken marriage and mea culpa for being a cheating husband, why can't CNN or even MTV dedicate 2 hours to look at where we've come and where we are in what Tavis Smiley calls "the most multi-racial, multi-ethnic and multi-religious America ever."
Does anyone remember the comment by CBS news anchor Dan Rather on the The Chris Matthews Show back in the spring. He was discussing Obama's healthcare reform and his ability to get things done when he said "Obama couldn't sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic." He also later apologized and went about his day.
And let's not forget Rock musician, John Mayer, who made a jack-ass of himself in Playboy last spring with his comments about his "nigger pass" rather than it being a "hood pass" and his unattraction to black women. The second part of his offensive remarks were about John Mayer trying to be ironic and witty as he stupidly made reference to his little package as a "David Duke D***". The short of it was-he's not attracted to black women. OK. Like sisters are home heartbroken cause his punk a** ain't checking for them. But I was a little taken aback because he's been the undisputed King of Girlie Rock for the last 8 years or so making very lyrically sensitive, mature music. Yet, he showed us his true feelings with his disrespect for black people. This after the interviewer commented, with some curiousity, about all the love he's gotten from black fans. Hmmm. He took some flack, mostly kept his mouth shut and went on about his day. And now he's doing commercials with Jay-Z selling something, I can't even remember what cause I change the channel whenever its on. Remember the LeBron James media fiasco that truly got on my nerves but clearly made some people more than a little irate. He was in fact treated like a runaway slave by the Cavalier's owner in that ridiculous, bitter letter and to some extent by the sports media that villified a generally classy young man who dared to exercise his power as a brand and product.
And I would be remiss if I failed to mention talk-radio's Dr. Laura Schlessinger and her angry, ignorant ass with her on-air attack of a black woman married to a white man asking for advice on how to handle racism in her own home. Needless to say the caller should know how to handle some bullsh** like that, but okay she called Dr. Laura and wanted to know what to do. Instead of Dr. Laura giving her a calm clinical answer, she goes on a racial rant full of diatribes and insults that were personal and political. She couldn't even handle a question from a black woman dealing with white racism so she starts to attack the NAACP, defiantly repeats the word "nigger" over and over, and cites comics on HBO who use the word "nigger" as if that excused these people in the caller's story who were disrespecting her, and her husband who didn't know how to be a man and speak up for his wife in his own home.
My theory is this: Yes we have the first Black President because of the perfect storm of economic events that made Barack Hussein Obama the only rational choice. And yes, many, many white people voted for him. It was monumental and many of us still have to pinch ourselves. But I think these recent, openly racist casual comments from musicians to journalists leave me feeling that many, many people (mostly white males) are subconsciously, and consciously, showing just how uncomfortable they are with the president of the free world being a black man. I don't think these many statements all within, say 6 months, have ever been so flagrant and constant. The Village Voice's recent cover story entitled "White America Has Lost Its Mind" by Steven Thrasher, was primarily focused on the conservative movement, Fox News, the tea party and the billionaire Koch Brothers. But I'm thinking some of this is more spread out and not just concentrated among the extreme right. There has always been this aversion to discussing race openly and honestly, even as we have a black president in office. It's as if white America feels like we voted for him so let's stop all this talk about racism. It's over, the reparations are paid, now move on. So there's no substantive conversation about race and racism. Nobody I know is buying that post-racial crap, so let's get on with the real dialogue, please. Just as the cavalier, racist, and just plain stupid statements highlighted earlier received a quick tongue lashing or moment of head scratching, or in Robert Plant's case not even a follow-up question, no one wants to use any of this as a jump off for some real conversations about race and racism in a country with a long violent history in its regards to non-white people. Even the tea partiers with their nasty Obama signs, the anti-brown immigration law in Arizona and the raucous protests over the Islamic Cultural Center near ground zero, which many people don't know was once the Muslim center of NYC, all have me very uncomfortable and should indicate to our many media outlets that we could use a nationally-televised conversation about race from many perspectives. If they can interrupt regular tv programming for Tiger Woods to talk about his broken marriage and mea culpa for being a cheating husband, why can't CNN or even MTV dedicate 2 hours to look at where we've come and where we are in what Tavis Smiley calls "the most multi-racial, multi-ethnic and multi-religious America ever."
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