Paying Homage to Oprah

Is anyone really coming to terms with the fact that the woman who changed America is leaving daytime tv? You know I mean the Queen herself, Ms. Oprah Winfrey.  I can't believe it's almost over.  She has been a presence in our lives for 25 years.  I remember her going national my freshman fall at college and seeing this chunky, brown woman with the fly head of hair take control of the airwaves with her "caller you say what"command to the on-air call in.  When her hefty behind quickly traversed the audience to reach the next question or comment you could feel the boom.  I'm not being funny.  There was something powerful about her fullness taking center stage and not being afraid to move around and physically be seen.  So many times juicy women try to blend or even fade away, but she wasn't afraid to stand out.  She asked questions that made us cringe, feel shocked, inspired, and laugh out loud.  And she made us cry and feel deeply.  When she revealed on-air her childhood abuse and the poverty she came from we felt her pain and her ongoing weight struggle made many of us confront our own weight and body image issues.  I'm so going to miss her. 


When I was a freshman in college she was the epitome of what many young black girls were trying to aspire to be.  She was articulate, smart, well-done and soooo successful.  You know, the Essence Woman.  Her image truly was impressive to us back then.  I mean we thought she was successful then, we could never have imagined what she'd become today.  Even though we had issue with some things about her as a tv personality, she was a role model and someone who made us all proud.  I remember when she first started beating Phil Donahue in the ratings, then annhilating all her competition that dared to step up, and how proud and excited I felt that she was taking over.  She vanquished all her opponents with such steady skill and sweetness that you hardly ever noticed how bad she was.  She just did her, her way and now on her own (no pun intended) network.


But make no mistake, Ms. Winfrey isn't to be trifled with.  Iyanla Van Zant found that sh*t out.  And this final season Oprah has been handling all family business Michael Corleone style.  She's had all the people who tried to sh*t on her, on her show to set it all straight and slyly laugh in their face.  Barbara Walters, when Oprah had the cast of The View on, tried to claim some credit like she was some sort of mentor and got the gentlest reminder that she really wasn't.  Oprah killed 2 birds with one stone when she had that bunch on, because its curious that Whoopi Goldberg was never on until then.  Rumor is that they really didn't get along since The Color Purple.  But Oprah got the last laugh.  Then on another show she entertained all her former talk show competitors with their stories about the talk show business and their time in the sun.  And next thing you know she was reminding them all that she was leaving the talk show gig to go on to her own network.  Ouch.


Maybe her biggest accomplishment during her reign was her role that helped the first Black man become President of The United States of America.  Still can hardly believe that one.  But her other contributions are great and far reaching as well.  She opened a school for girls in South Africa for leadership development in this new nation when many black people in the diaspora don't even want to identify with anything African. She made it cool to be a social entrepreneur with all her gifting and give-aways to the audience but also to charitable causes for the forgotten and overlooked by building homes and community centers.  I can remember researching "community development" as a field 10 years ago when some people didn't know what it was and today it has swelled into a growing job sector which I think she's contributed to. 

Then she turned around and made literacy cool with her book club and sent little known or undiscovered writers to the top of the NY Times Bestseller List.  Next, she honored our elders and sheros by televising her love for them. I remember crying when she did her "Legends Ball" about 5 or 6 years ago and hoping that one of our black male millionaires (say Diddy or Jay-Z) would do the same for our great black men who've changed our nation. (could you have imagined Percy Sutton, Dick Parsons, Geoffrey Canada and Ossie Davis all being honored like African royalty before the world to see)  She has testified before Congress for victims of child abuse and even snagged an Oscar nomination.  All of this and she's still doing the damn thing.  Just think: Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and Rachel Ray.


Michael Bloomberg and Donald Trump (that ass) may have more money, but she has more influence.  Her touch can turn copper to platinum.  She can introduce some new gadget or product and its sold out in hours.  She is that powerful and still walks humbly.  I caught Barbara Walter's interview of her back around Christmas and she asked her what else does she wanna do and Oprah said "just to let God keep using me".  Barbara's face said it all.  She just didn't get it, how service and selflessness are at her core. 


Now, although I'm paying tribute to the Queen of All Media, I've got to offer my social analysis of The Queen's rise to the top of the media mountain. It's always been my belief that what has made her so loved by America is that she's been the "mammy" figure we all remember and silently cringe at.  She is overweight, which is the first requirement of being a mammy.  Mammy had to be an asexual figure who took care of, and nurtured the white family she was "responsible" for, maybe even more than her own.  And being overweight meant that she was less a threat to the woman of the house since this working woman spent long days in her home around her family. ie. her husband.  Really, to me, that's where the stereotype is really rooted.  Massa making too many trips out at night and small brown children strangely resembling him and his shade of hazel-green eyes living uncomfortably nearby.  So they roll out this image to placate the white wives and mistresses that they themselves could never want anything like that, hence Aunt Jemima.  But inspite of the bitter history, "mammy" has always been an enduring source of comfort for alot of us.  (Think Tyler Perry and Madea)  Mammy was strong, listened with her whole heart, and dispensed strong advice and wisdom for the whole family.  All while they paid her $3 a week.  Now Ms. Oprah flipped that sh*t and made a couple billion dollars in the process.  She held white folks up and hugged them while they confessed their deepest pain, exposed their confusion and cried hard.  Sometimes Oprah cried with them, making them feel so much better.  Understood.  She's been the emotional crutch, teacher and guide for America for the last 25 years.


As I lay in bed this morning reaching for the alarm and my mind crashes with memories of all the forgotten emails I need to send, bills to pay and some things I just want to avoid, I think I really have to live my best life now.  I mean, "if not now, then when?" for real.  No more regrets, no more "tomorrows".  I want to exhaust every opportunity that God gives me and leave my positive contributions on this earth when I go.  And when I contemplate all the goals I want to accomplish with my life, I'm amazed with her stamina.  She's got issues like all of us, but keeps pressing forward and pushing us along too. I mean she has the same 24 hours in her day. What she does that's so damned impressive for me at this stage of life is her ability to continuously be in the mindset of self-reinvention.  Life is not stagnant, it is soooo dynamic and sometimes so crazy and full of the unexpected.  But she spins out a new goal, sets a new trend, and continues to share her gifts.  All while she weathers her storms with a calmness and steady hand that I'm impressed by.  Remember how her half-sister just popped up out of nowhere, or how her father was trying to write a tell-all book or when her sister sold a story about her to The Enquirer.  It never showed. 


She will be so missed on so many levels for me.  This is a sister who made every drop of her money herself.  She didn't marry somebody rich or was blessed to be born into money.  Her success is no small feat for someone who had to empty her granny's spit can once upon a time.  I wish her all the success with her new network and hope we all consider how much she's contributed to the image and success of Black people in the US and how God's light in all of us can shine.

Saying Goodbye to All My Children Because I Only Have One Life To Live

Wow!  I heard the news today.  All My Children and One Life to Live are being cancelled.  I haven't watched soaps since my college days and I'm a little embarrassed to admit I ever watched them at all, but still they were a part of my television diet growing up.  How did that happen? Well, as the the youngest of 5 girls I wanted to be grown and sit up under my big sisters during hot summer afternoons when I should've been outside playing hot peas and butter. So I watched All My Children go from a half-hour to one-hour show and Detective Ed Hall be a positive rep for black men on daytime tv.

It's amazing when I look back and remember how iconic the character Erica Kane was for urban black girls in my day.  She was the epitome of womanhood for many a sister.  Playing games, using her sex and sex appeal to get whatever she wanted, disposing of men without an after thought, running her own business empire.  Basically doing whatever the hell she wanted and dressing fierce all the while. I never really bought into that whole image, for me it was just entertainment.  But I have to wonder now if those shows, in any small way, left any lasting impact on how I saw life then and see the world today.  Maybe it was just silly entertainment.  A way to distract me and other women, and some men, from dealing with the very real life they had in front of them.  Just some waste-of-time fantasy, some "imagine what it would be like to live fly like that" BS.  Then again that "silly entertainment" wasn't so harmless after all.  I don't think life has to be all serious all the time.  We need some let loose, some silliness and mindless BS at times.  It's a coping mechanism too.  But too much, even more than a little, isn't good for our discipline or ability to cope with our reality at hand.

So I say goodbye to two daytime serials that had me on the edge of my seat way back when.  Before life got serious and time for pretend ended.  I say farewell to Dorian Lord's fly stylist, Angie & Jessie, Greg & Jennie and yes, to Ms. Erica Kane.

President Obama's Public Mistress

You know I love and respect me some President Obama but I started feeling like his attitude towards the Black community was a little undercover.  He kind of likes to ignore us in the light of day but then romance us and call us when he needs us.  At least that's how I felt when he spoke at Al Sharpton's National Action Network Conference here, in NYC last week.  I couldn't help but feel a little cynical.  I mean after 2 years he almost ignores us and we accept and understand that because we know very well what he's up against. Just like a doting mistress would do.  And just like a good concubine understands her "man" and knows he has to deal with the demands of his tyrranic wife who doesn't know the real him and certainly doesn't support him the way she does.

Problem is, we can't act like a political "side piece" in these political times.  He could stand to stop acting so damn conciliatory and bipartisan and take care of the people who take care of him regardless to what pollsters might declare.  The 2012 election is coming up and I know he needs to draw on his base support to ready for the fight but you have to take care of home too no matter who's watching.  Black unemployment, education a wreck and housing markets imploding (disproportionatley affecting us) and we get a lecture about the importance of fathers.  But where's the policy attention to our plethora of issues?  My devotion and committment to him are genuine because yes, he's the first.  But he's also a balanced progressive and a damn good man.  Yes, too cautious, but we can't have it all.  Afterall, America would've never voted for a "John Shaft" kind of brother.  However, the office of the presidency is about setting policy and directing tax dollars to the issues and interests of your political platform (and PACS).  It's about who you're giving your money to.  Yeah, we know the wife has to get hers but we need some respect too.  Problem is the wife (Middle Class to Wealthy America) wants it all and doesn't want to share. Enter all the taxcuts for the wealthy.  And whenever this happens, it's always left to the husband/President to put his foot down and say what's what.