On Tuesday, July 10th, PBS' Frontline will be airing a documentary on the growing AIDS epidemic in the Black community. I encourage everyone to watch so we can get some understanding of why and how this 30 plus years old disease is steadily escalating among young Black men and women across the nation.
Back in the 90's, I sat in a public health workshop and a woman shared how her husband unknowingly gave it to her and that he was still healthy but her health was failing. She was a retiree in her 60's waiting to enjoy her golden years and had to deal with all the emotional, financial and health tolls that came with her new HIV diagnosis. Recent stats reveal that the HIV infection rate among women in Washington DC rivals that of South Africa. How is this happening? Black women especially need to be aware of the past histories of sexual partners and by all means wear condoms, everytime. Yes, I know, but everytime. Because you only really know your own risk level, not your partners. And that includes husbands. Regularly using condoms and HIV testing are really our only defenses so that we know our own status and can prevent spreading infection to others.
But I'm curious about what informs the sexual choices that Black women make which ends up putting so many of us at risk. Are we too afraid to ask a man to use a condom because we want to keep him given the dimishing numbers of available, datable black men in our communities. Do our feelings of love and trust interfere with our heads and good safe sex practices? Does the heat of the moment get the better of us? Does the fact that many brothers don't want to use protection to begin with and then judge women who keep condoms in their nightstand draw factor in our choices? I read a recent Essence article where a woman stated her boyfriend doesn't like to use condoms and isn't willing to get tested and she was asking for advice about what to do. I was shocked that here was this ignorant, selfish dumb ass in the year 2012 apparently unconcerned about his own health and that this woman should need any advice on how to handle her situation. But then the luke warm response from the Essence columnist just floored me. The advice should've included directions to this young woman to put on her Nikes and run from his silly ass, quickly, and change her number.
I had a work friend years ago who I ran into and she shared with me that she had just tested positive. This was a 31 year old educated, beautiful, former model who walked the streets of NYC like it was her personal runway and was now dealing with getting insurance and finding services to help her handle her changing world. I lost touch with her but she runs across my mind every once in a while when I read news articles about the alarming rates of infection in our community.
The down low syndrome can't alone explain the surging infection rates in Black women, but we're not being honest if we don't claim responsibility for learning as much as possible about all sexual partners and then still protecting ourselves. And let's face it, a brother just ain't gonna tell you straight up he does dudes too, that's why using condoms is so mandatory. Bisexuality is a topic of conversation that the community needs to have no matter how painful, shocking, shameful, embarassing, whatever. NO, I need to change that: we need to talk honestly about sex and sexuality. Period. And I mean real talk. When I was growing up all my mother and the mothers of my friends really armed us with was the "don't get pregnant" orders and some fear talk to keep us from the natural curiosity about our developing bodies and minds. I shudder to think how simple minded we were about sex and how vulnerable we all were: the friends who became teen moms, had abortions, fought STIs and just carried the emotional baggage of having sex too soon. And while studies are showing the HIV infection increase and its relationship to poverty, we shouldn't feel safe if we're not among the poor. Every sexually active human being assumes a risk. Period.
Also, we Black women need to be more vocal about this epidemic because while much media attention is given to the increasing infection rates among us, I wonder if the government's campaign efforts and marketing have increased in our community. The national and local departments of health's programming, outreach and education efforts should reflect the changing faces of this disease. Lately, I almost never hear anything from media about condom use and AIDS prevention and all that stuff we heard regularly, say 15 years ago. It's time to re-address topics around sex, different sexualities, high risk sexual practices that increase chances for contracting the HIV virus and the cultural mores and attitudes that are prevalent in the black community around sexuality. Let's face it-none of us are immune from getting this disease as long as we are sexually active. I read that 80% of African American women who contract the virus do so through heterosexual intercourse so this is a preventable disease and we all ought to check out the upcoming Frontline and share our thoughts about it's growing presence in many of our lives.
