Esperanza Spalding - Black Gold (OFFICIAL)

Why this sister and this jam don't get any play on black radio is a tragedy to me but take a minute and watch this video with your kids, or anybody, and enjoy.

India Arie and Being A Black Girl

Where do I begin?  It's been a minute since her last CD, and fans have missed her stay-true-to-yourself, honest, self-celebrating lyrics that made us love her back in 1999 when she burst on the music scene.  Songs about self-acceptance, empowerment, and love in all its forms were the lyrics she was made of.  It was the cusp of a new millenium and she was right there to encourage us with thoughtful, intelligent ideas of womanhood and true beauty.  And then the promotional photo of her upcoming project emerged about a month ago and we've all been scratching our heads ever since.  Some have felt betrayed, disappointed and sad for her and a combinationn of all of these and wonder, if she would bleach her skin and have a nose job what does it take for a dark-skinned black woman with West African features to love and appreciate the way God created her.

Does the media have some responsibility in this?  And I do include our black media, perhaps especially.  With the ever blonde Beyonce aka "Mrs. Carter", Solange, Halle Berry, Rihanna, Ciara and "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" Keri Hilson, when do we ever consistently see a dark-skinned sister as an object of beauty and desire in magazines, movies or music videos?  How many cocoa sisters have been told "you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl" as if that's a compliment.  Many of us look at ourselves in the mirror and it doesn't match what our society tells us is pretty.  Sure, we relish our hips and the natural curvy bodies that only African women have, if only because our men value and crave those physical attributes.  But as for the rest of our bodies like our hair (length and texture), full lips, width of our noses, and skin color?  I'm not so sure.  This isn't to say that we're categorically dissatisfied with our looks either, because in spite of it all black women rate highest with satisfaction around their physical appearance which is great news.  However, this India Arie thing got me wondering: is her skin lightening and shaved off nostrils more representative of our collective struggle with beauty images or is this an individual choice of a woman in the music industry's spotlight and what she succombed to.

I mean to be honest, I felt betrayed when I saw the photo.  She sang about loving yourself and then clearly bleached her skin and had a nose job.  Is it something she felt inwardly all her life but never really dealt with and simply decided to change her body and re-create herself?  But then I listen to the lyrics of "Brown Skin" and I feel so connected to my brown self I can't imagine wanting to be anything else. 

As human beings we are so complex.  I mean psychologically what black women have been through and the fact that we're still highly functional and continue to strive is amazing.  But maybe we're masking a lot of discontent with our own physical selves and compensating, obsessing or re-directing that hurt in other ways.  The weave thing has me buggin for one.  I see sisters addicted to these things with hair down to their waist and have to wonder when is this trend going to stop.  I was in the Mid-West recently and noticed a lot of blue and green colored eye contacts.  It occurred to me that something is happening here. Then, I've personally come to believe that Kim Kardashian has just way too much presence in Black social media to be coincidental.  No other white celebrity is as covered in the black media as much as this woman.  I've started to wonder if (some) black women truthfully, deep down inside really want to be her.  I mean she's a shapely white girl with long straight hair and a tan.  She's just too ubiquitous in Black media, unlike say Lindsay Lohan, Taylor Swift or Anne Hathaway.  

It seems to me that for many black people, identifying with being black is just really hard.  Mandy don't want to be white, but they don't want to be black either.  There is some variation of the India Arie theme being played out all the time in our community because of the psyche that white supremacy has produced.  When a brother wants a "dime piece" because he wants his daughter to have "pretty" hair or the newborn baby boy's head that gets constantly shaped by his mother so that his head isn't shaped so "Black".  How about when the temperature is scorching and you're sitting in the park and you see all kinds of black people under their umbrellas, yet rarely do you see people of other races under an umbrella you know what that's about.  I mean it's insanity and yet it goes on and on.  So can I be too shocked by India?  All of us have issues with racialism, colorism and all the rest of it to some extent.  It takes the desire and necessary work to untangle the tentacles of white supremacy on our brains to overcome the damage that is tolled on us historically and today.  I don't know Ms. Arie personally, I don't how many times she was called "tar baby" as a kid on the playground or how the dudes dissed her when she was fifteen or the old ladies at church who screwed their faces up at her because she wouldn't straighten her hair.  It probably has been a lot of bullshit she's had to overcome on that front and maybe her music was her medicine for healing those wounds.  A salve on her soul.  But not the cure for the deeper mental and spiritual hurts she may still carry.

I still love her music and wish her the best.  I regret her "transformation" and hope she gets honest about it all.  For her sake, not mines or her other music fans.  It's clearly not the lighting of the photography going on there, but rather something on the inside that we, the public, may never learn about.

God is Good

I discovered a blog back in 2011 by a young sister named RahielTesfamariam, a native of Eritrea and raised in DC who started a beautiful blog called www.Urbandcusp.com (please check it out).  It offers a fresh view on culture, spirituality, politics and lifestyle from today's young urbanites.  I was excited to come across a site that addresses the realities of modern life while at the same time exploring that connection with the spirit and how we carry our Christian walk out into the real world.  Remembering what Christ called us to do and not just to feel. There have been times that I've forgotten that faith is an action and we need to be doers of the word. 

So often today it seems as though Christians get tagged as "anti-intellectual".  That's probably why this particular website caught my interest, because it is certainly intellectually rich.  In today's world it feels like people aren't comfortable about discussing spirituality alongside conversations on politics or culture.  Really, I'm not sure people are OK with public conversation on anything around faith.  And then there are people who freely say things about Christianity and Christians that they would never publicly say about Judaism or Islam and its followers.  In a culture that is so heterogeneous and diverse in every way it sometimes feels like we're expected to just discuss things that are secular and stick to discussions on politics and pop culture.  In other words, stay in that safe zone.  The sacred, spiritual life we all have are often sensitive places we don't want to go to with everyone, but it's good to see a website that encourages questions and discussion about the calling and challenges for Christians in contemporary society.

And while I'm on the subject, I want to give God thanks and praise for His mercy, favor, protection, direction and forgiveness.  To everyone reading this, be blessed.

NO! You Smile

As much as I try to refrain from making my blog an altar for venting, I need to get this one off my chest and hopefully women reading this post will offer their opinions and/or experiences as well.  I have gotten real damn tired of men passing me on the street and demanding that I smile, and I mean they yell it at me with hostility or some sense of authority no less. 

Whether I’m walking down the street to catch the bus, on the train or paying for my groceries after a nightmarish day at work I seem to get unwanted, unsolicited directives from random black men telling me I should smile.  Last week a man in a motorized wheelchair whizzed by me on the sidewalk and then screamed at me “Smile!”.   Mind you, it was 20 degrees outside and I was running to my Zumba class before it filled up and I yelled back at him, “you smile”.  I didn’t hear anything else from him as he made it across the street, but why do men think it’s appropriate to tell complete strangers that they should smile.  And it’s not just strangers they’re telling this to in the general population, it’s only and always women.  I know these same brothas aren’t walking past other brothas and demanding them to smile on any day.  They don’t know what kind of day I’m having, what I’m facing in my life or maybe I just don’t feel like walking down the street with a big, happy smile on my face.  I live in Harlem, NY and walking down the street as a woman with a smile on your face does indeed make you approachable, which in turn makes you very vulnerable.  You see, in the hood approachable is not the look a black woman is going for many days.  This, in part, may be why many black women get labeled angry because of our serious demeanor in public spaces.  What many of our men fail to realize is that this is a survival mechanism so that you don’t become a victim.  Do any of these men have sisters, daughters or wives?  Do they think their female family members should walk down the streets of a big urban jungle with a big ole smile on their faces?

I mean, what does the expression on my face have to do with anybody and their current emotional state anyway?  I’m not paying their bills or even conversing with them.  Nothing.  They are complete and total strangers.  I don’t want anything from them except for respect and common courtesy usually afforded other pedestrians, so why do they require me as a woman to smile for them?  Is there some kind of magical lift that a woman’s smile brings to their bank account, lowers their blood pressure or their rent.  It’s not nearly as bad as the street harassment that we sisters in urban areas deal with on the daily (that’s a whole other blog) but it is an annoying problem that brothas need to stop.  And I know all the well-meaning black men feel I’m overreacting to something that’s basically harmless. But if you don’t know what to say to a woman on the street, then just say, “hello” or “have a good day”.  Whatever.  But please stop feeling it is appropriate or your right to tell another adult, that you don’t even know, to do a damn thing.

New Artist Alert: Lianne La Havas

Alright y'all, here's a sister from the UK that is bringing IT fully. Her vocals, songwriting and R&B/indie/folk rock sound are so refreshing and strong I hope she gets much support from us over here on "the other side of the pond". Check out her new video above for "Lost and Found".  This is a true artist...