I just wanted to send my love and appreciation to all the great fathers out there who are sacrificing for and inspiring their little cubs all the world over.
My dad died when I was eleven but I always remember him coming home tired from a hard day's work, taking his evening shower, sitting down to dinner, watching The Mets games on channel 9 here in NYC, (Yes, we were a National League household) and drinking a cold miller beer. His presence and the feeling of safety and protection I felt with him around was very real. My father was from a generation where the child rearing was almost totally left to the mother but he provided and cared for all 6 of us no matter what. A jazz musician by trade, he could have left to live a bohemiam life and seek out a life that only satisfied his own pleasures, but he chose to be a family man with a predictable routine and to deal with the everyday problems that come with raising a household full of kids. None of us knew the indignities and crap he had to endure just trying to work honest jobs and be the provider, he took a lot and never complained about his life.
Honestly, I tire of hearing father's day shout outs that include props to the moms who are doing double duty or just mentioning the old addage"moms are moms all their lives", gets on my damn nerves. Moms who may be widows or abandoned and left to hold the bag are warriors but they're not fathers. Mothers Day was in May and mothers should get all their accolades and praise on then (and honestly, throughout the rest of the year), but Father's Day is in June and it seems like they get some acknowledgment but end up sharing their shine with single mothers. Can we just give an unequivocal "happy father's day" to the men? Period. And how about all the brothers who are raising other men's kids and claiming them as their own. They hardly ever get a mention when all the conversation is on the dead beat dads dodging their child support payments. As a cat once told my brother, "really, we're all raising each others kids".
We can't let our men be replaced with thin air or overwhelmed women tired of holding it all together. We need YOU!! And right now. You are irreplaceable and your children are different because of your presence and guidance. Now there are some men who have no business raising kids as they currently are. And some men are better men because their fathers weren't in their lives. For instance, if your father was a pimp and he believes women should be slapped around just to remind them to stay in their place, your father is not a good role model and really shouldn't be around kids. But for all my brothers trying to be better men and better fathers, I send you a big kiss and for those who know they should be doing better, seek some support from your church or link up with a men's group. Not knowing the way isn't a sin, not caring or trying to know the way is.
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